Fr. Francis Mary

The EWTN crowd is in an uproar over the the departure of Fr. Francis Mary Stone, host of the youth-oriented program Life on the Rock, whose has apparently fallen in love. Much figurative ink is being spilt in blogland over the situation, much of it (surprise, surprise!) condemnatory in nature. What really astounds me as I read over what people have written is the absolutely unrealistic and romanticized imagine many have of the priesthood. To a post and a long string of comments on the orthometer I added my own two cents. Here, I will simply share the second of those cents:

I mentioned in my previous comment that I found some of the other comments offensive. Perhaps I should explain. What I find offensive is lay persons spouting pious piffle about situations of which they know nothing. Many people who have commented have such a distorted image of the priesthood that it is laughable.

I am offended at the idea that if only the priest prayed he wouldn't leave, and the implication that those who leave obviously don't pray. Hogwash! I have personally know pious priests who made daily Holy Hours before the Blessed Sacrament and yet have left the priesthood.

I am offended at the suggestion that priests should basically lock themselves away and have no friends. Many will point to the "glory days" when the priest was on a pedestal and was more or less unapproachable by the hoi poloi. Older priests talk about what it was like when they were young priests in that clerical "boys club." It was cocktails every night in the rectory. A life of privilege. Driving the best cars. Some had their live-in "house-keepers" who cared for Father's everyneed. Not everywhere, of course. But it is a story heard often enough.

Now I will get to the crux of the problem. Not an inconsequential number of young men entering the seminary have not really been involved in relationships with the opposite sex. They might be socially awkward, lacking in self esteem, or merely "late-bloomers." I don't believe these things are the cause of their entrance into the seminary, but I believe it makes it easier for them to hear the "call." Others get distracted by their interest in the ladies; the Lord may be calling but they aren't prepared to hear Him. I think of all the young men whom I have personally heard say "I'd be a priest but ..."

And then these men get ordained and are thrown into a situation where they have to deal with women constantly. One person here wrote that she thought that Fr. Stone should have engaged a nun or laywoman to deal with the widow in question. She has no idea of the reality of the priesthood! MOST of the people we deal with are women! If a priest decided that, in order to preserve his vocation, he would have no interaction with women, he would be totally ineffective.

The reality is that women often "throw" themselves at priests. (A female college friend warned me before I entered seminary to be careful of the girls because "a woman's greatest desire is to steal a man away from God.") And these poor souls, with no experience with the opposite sex, suddenly find themselves as objects of intense interest. Many ignore the attention but others find it too much to resist. Some fall, pick themselves up, reconcile with God and continue as good priests. Some find the pleasures of the flesh too much to forsake and likewise the privileges of the collar and so live double lives. Others realize that they need the companionship of a wife and have the strength of character to leave the priesthood and start a new life.

The bottom line is that it is not as black and white as the naive laypersons who have spouted off here would like to believe. Rather than sitting in judgment of others I would like to see all the commentators here praying for Fr. Francis Mary and others who find themselves in such a difficult and painful situation.